Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize