You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
