I'm really into asian looking animals
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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