Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
