Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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