he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The ass gains better be worth it
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