If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize