Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize