i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
