I can feel you judging me through the phone.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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