Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Congratulations! We have a period
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
