my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
