there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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