So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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