if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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