I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
