Your tits are I can't wait for
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
