thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
