oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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