i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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