Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
barbara walters just said penis...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
