I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
