I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
