drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
