Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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