Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
