If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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