wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize