this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
