Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
