you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
