Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
