Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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