Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
