I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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