she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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