I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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