i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
