i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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