I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Vodka?
Forever.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
