i think i have herpe
just one?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
