Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
