How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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