sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
