i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I would ride that face into the sunset
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
