i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I need water and some morals
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
