matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize