You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
