There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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