i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
