8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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