there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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