she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Randomize