So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The power of my boobs compel you
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
