New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
