with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize