like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
