why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
