Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
