Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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