WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
