I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Screwed.edu
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
