So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
