it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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