I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
