That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
