I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
