Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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