help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My ass is underappreciated
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
