Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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