it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
